Wednesday, September 8, 2010
What a bittersweet back to school this season. Readers of this blog know that September is always a hard month for me. Grace's birthday is September 24, and it has not gotten any easier to begin September, a month that held the promise of my daughter's birth, without feeling the pain of that promise turning to such endless grief.
This year, Annabelle started first grade and Sam started his senior year in high school. Now, I have always been the type of mother who cries at milestones in her kids' lives. When Sam finished kindergarten--and this was before my world fell apart--they marched the class out on the last day and announced: Parents, next year's first graders! And I started to cry. Hard. So imagine me this year with Annabelle marching up the stairs at her school, leaving the little kids' wing behind, and no moms allowed up with her...then watching Sam walk into school, his last first day, and remembering all of his first days...the one when I was pregnant with Grace, the one when he showed up after summer suddenly so tall, the one when he began high school.
So I did what I do when my emotions take hold of me like they are right now: I knit. Several years ago I started a blanket for Sam to take to college with him. But college seemed so far away, and I ran out of yarn, and all the usual reasons for knitting projects going unfinished. But I picked up that blanket and started anew, happily. It's a complicated pattern--the one I mention in THE KNITTING CIRCLE--and I like needing to concentrate hard, unlike my fabulous dish rags. No, it's time for serious knitting. Each stitch knits my love for Sam into it, so that when he leaves the nest, that love goes with him.
Despite all the renewed grief, so many wonderful things are happening. My children's book series has now been increased from four books to eight! I'm deep into Book Two, which is a wonderful escape. More on this as publication nears. AND WW Norton has optioned my new adult novel, which I am just dizzy about writing. More to come on that too!
Good news: my story "Coney Island Dreams" will be in The Atlantic Monthly's October Kindle issue. I am not sure how non-Kindle users can get it, but I suspect online...? I sent my first story to The Atlantic in 1984, so this is a lesson in perserverence. It took 26 years but I finally got a story in there! Hooray!
Happy Knitting, everyone! And Happy Autumn!
This year, Annabelle started first grade and Sam started his senior year in high school. Now, I have always been the type of mother who cries at milestones in her kids' lives. When Sam finished kindergarten--and this was before my world fell apart--they marched the class out on the last day and announced: Parents, next year's first graders! And I started to cry. Hard. So imagine me this year with Annabelle marching up the stairs at her school, leaving the little kids' wing behind, and no moms allowed up with her...then watching Sam walk into school, his last first day, and remembering all of his first days...the one when I was pregnant with Grace, the one when he showed up after summer suddenly so tall, the one when he began high school.
So I did what I do when my emotions take hold of me like they are right now: I knit. Several years ago I started a blanket for Sam to take to college with him. But college seemed so far away, and I ran out of yarn, and all the usual reasons for knitting projects going unfinished. But I picked up that blanket and started anew, happily. It's a complicated pattern--the one I mention in THE KNITTING CIRCLE--and I like needing to concentrate hard, unlike my fabulous dish rags. No, it's time for serious knitting. Each stitch knits my love for Sam into it, so that when he leaves the nest, that love goes with him.
Despite all the renewed grief, so many wonderful things are happening. My children's book series has now been increased from four books to eight! I'm deep into Book Two, which is a wonderful escape. More on this as publication nears. AND WW Norton has optioned my new adult novel, which I am just dizzy about writing. More to come on that too!
Good news: my story "Coney Island Dreams" will be in The Atlantic Monthly's October Kindle issue. I am not sure how non-Kindle users can get it, but I suspect online...? I sent my first story to The Atlantic in 1984, so this is a lesson in perserverence. It took 26 years but I finally got a story in there! Hooray!
Happy Knitting, everyone! And Happy Autumn!